Lordy Lou, have you ever done something that has left you completely mortified and embarrassed? Well, I can tell you, this has never happened to me, but after what happened to me this morning, I can sort of imagine the complex range of emotions that would go along with something like that...
Picture it, Santa Monica Blvd, July 29th, 2011. I was cruzin' down the street in my six-fo' when I rolled up on some cute boy in an Audi that had a little German flag on the antenna. Now, as you may know, ole Frau [that me... sometimes I speak in the third person, not often, but this is an instance where I just did and I just wanted to make that clear so as to not confuse you] is of partial Deutsch [that’s German for "German"] descent, and I wanted to express a little U.N.I.T.Y. but really wanted to tell this cutie that I liked his flag/car/hair... you know...
Just as I go to roll down the window the light changes and traffic starts to move again. So we're keeping pace with each other and he glances over and smiles and so I give him a thumbs up and point at the little flag on his antenna. But he looks confused and doesn't make the connection to what I am pointing at, so I try and make the connection with a gesture, so the best thing I could come up with was to extend my right arm and hand essentially give him the Nazi Salute. I really should have put a little thought into that because his jaw dropped and he quickly turned at the next intersection [I like to think that he was going to turn there anyway... regardless of the fact that he cut off a tour bus].
Now this cute little German boy totally thinks I'm Anti-Semitic, which totally is the furthest thing from the truth! I love the Jews! I mean without the Jews, who would produce all of the films and television shows that I love?!? Just a quick aside, I am still searching for a producer for my feature length film "Fraubarella"... just thought I would throw that out there... but I digress... I damn near have a stool in the Kibitz Room named after me... hell, I could be a little Jewie--and I'm not talkin' cheap--I could totally have some Jewish ancestry, there are German-Jews...
Anywho... long story short... we need to come up with a universal hand gesture that says "Hey cute German boy" that wasn't also shared by the Hitler Youth. On a side note, anyone know if I crash somebody's Shabbat tonight, you know, do some karmic adjustment... I'll bring the Manischewitz...!
2 comments:
I know you don't like to confess to this Frau, but you are part Polish, like it, or not.. There are tons of Polish Jews, too!!!.. But I'm pretty sure the Polish roots you come from are the Catholic Church basement Fish Fryin' type, but the only real difference between Catholics and Jews = Jesus. So.. :D
Everyone knows I'm pullin' a Cher "Half-Breed"... except I'm Italian and German instead of Cherokee and Whore...
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