Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Beware the Capezio clad Girl Scout

I remember this one time, this girl... we'll call her Miss Tina Dodgers, tried to sell me bunk girl scout cookies. My first clue was when I answered the door. There standing before me was Miss Tina dressed in a ragged sash made with legwarmers that were stapled together, a torn green skirt, and some brand new Capezios. Her "obviously a wig" blonde hair was matted with dirt, clearly she had just lifted it out of a dumpster.

I glared at her suspiciously as she started in on her sales pitch. She yammered on about cookie selections and how they were only 10 dollars a box.

"10 dollars! My, that is a dramatic increase," I balked.

"All the funds go to needy girl scouts in the 909," she retaliated.

"I don't recall Double Stuff Oreos being on the Girl Scout list of cookies." Without missing a beat she went into new cookies that were being offered, she was smarter than I had credited her. "What about Samoas?"

"Samoas are being discontinued," before she could finish her answer a slight glaze crossed her face. This is where I had her, and she knew it! No way were the Samoas going to be discontinued, everybody knows those are the money cookie!

"Charlatan!" I screamed reaching for her hair. She darted away quicker than a bunny and I was left standing with a hand full of dirty blonde. In a matter of seconds she was down the street, a few seconds later the sun gleaming off her bald head could barely be seen.

Let this be a word of advise... beware the Capezio clad Girl Scout.