Sex Trafficking.
For one, the name is completely misleading. You take the first word, and come on, who doesn't like sex. And well, yeah, traffic sucks, but throw sex into the mix, and suddenly that back up on the 405 isn't all that bad. But nooooo, that's not what sex trafficking is. Now I wish somebody had educated lil' ole me on that before I was shipped off to a Taiwanese sex camp.
"How in the world could that happen?" I can hear you ask. Well, you'd be surprised just how easy it can happen!
So, what had happened was, I saw a flyer for one of those rave parties. And I thought to myself, "why not, I haven't been to a rave parry in ages and it was free admission for the first 50 people with glow sticks. The headliner was some twat named Skillet or something. Sounded like a bunch of noise, I mean, back in my day, raves played good music with beats you could dance to.
But I wasn't there for the music, I was trying to make some coin by selling tabs of ecstasy, well actually, it was pills of aspirin with the name scratched off. These dumb kids were none the wiser. I mean their idea of dance music was a bunch of WOOOOMMM VBOOOOMMM SQUEEEs. I was doing the lords work, because this shit was giving me a headache.
Then I was approached by some shifty looking Asian guy. I'm not racist or anything, I'm not saying that all Asian guys are shifty, but this guy was shifty, and he happened to be Asian. He starts to tell me this this is his turf and that I can't sell here, and he wants 80% off the top.
"As if," I balked. "I worked hard from the money, so hard for it honey!" Then he reaches inside his coat for a gun, well it was mostly likely a gun, and I wasn't going to sit around to find out. "WHITE DIAMONDS!" I yelled, as I threw a handful of aspirin in his face. He fell back, dropping his piece. I snatched it off ground before he could. "Dafuq?" I said, puzzled, holding a giant black dildo. That's when I got hit from behind.
I woke up in brothel in Taiwan, though it could have possibly been a school for girls, I didn't speak the language. Then I was shoved into a room with a bunch of pre-teen girls, where I was forced to teach them English for a year. I guess in retrospect, it was a school, my bad. Though I did give them advise about boys and sex when they asked. So, see, it was kind of sex trafficy. Suck on that, Dan Savage...
