Wednesday, July 1, 2015

A Learning Moment

It was a hot muggy afternoon yesterday, so I decided that I was going to get myself a nice cold Blended Vanilla Ultimate down at the Coffee Bean. You know how much I love my Coffee Bean [and that's not just a euphemism for my clitoris, but they both give me life]!

I roll up and find a huge line, apparently I wasn't the only one with the idea, but whatev's, I'm a patient gal. I pull out my phone and I'm flipping through my Scruff profile [don't judge, you tell me a better way to get random dudes to send you pictures of their junk, I know they ain't into me, but a girl likes to window shop, amirite? My pseudonym is Herr Bello, and on Scruff I'm 8 1/2 inches, uncut, like everyone else, just sayin'] when some janky woman with an expensive weave walks up and cuts in line.

"Hey, Steven Tyler," I yell ,"no cuts!"

"Excuse me, you cissy bitch?" Caitlyn Jenner turns and says.

"I said 'no cuts,' Trannysaurus Rex!"

 
"You can't say the "T" word, its derogatory."

"Oh, and you can call me a sissy?" I protest.

"I called you a cissy, as in cis-gender," she says contemptuously.

"What the eff is that bull-s?"

"You dum-dum, 'cis' is Latin for "on this side of." It means that you are biologically the same gender that you identify with."

"Hmm, you know, you are right, it was totally insensitive of me to use the tranny word. I need to me more aware of the language I use, and be more thoughtful with the words that I choose. For that, I apologize," I said with a smile and opened my arms to offer her a hug as a peace offering in my moment of clarity. I truly understood the plight of transgender people and the struggle they have to deal with everyday. Caitlyn came in and we embraced in a powerful moment of true connection. "I promise that I will treat you no differently than I treat any one else. I will treat you just as I treat any sister," I added, then I shoved her to the back of the line and yelled, "no cuts, cunt-face."

Caitlyn stumbled to the back of the line, turned, and mouthed the words "thank you."