Breakdown: Kanye "Bound 2" Video

The video opens with some great nature shots. Like real quality shit. This really cements that Kanye West is the Henry David Thoreau of our time and he is about to take us on a tone poem that puts Walden to shame.

 

Nature Shot.  

Nature Shot.

Nature Shot.

CGI Crow? Maybe it’s meant to be a dove but because its back lit
by the rising sun it just looks like a pigeon.

Fantastic shot of the Kardashian sisters. Love the cameo.

Then BAM, Kanye riding his Magic Motorcycle through the mountains.

Oh wait, did Kanye just turn into some chick?
Is it no coincidence that this came out on Transgender Awareness day?

Oops, changed back, now he is riding his Magic Motorcycle on water,
because Yeezuz don’t walk, bitches! The Motorcycle must be a gift
from his Dad, God, who is also Kanye... Holy Trinity Bitches!

Oh snap, Kanye must be on a short leash,
because his Kuntrashian wife done showed up,
gurl, run a comb through that ratchet hair!

Okay, Kanye ain’t mad, he just pickin her up for a Sunday
ride through the mountains. Who needs backroads, when you can fffffllly! 

He rappin' this shit out of this song [like for real, are you even listening to the lyrics? “How you gon' be mad on vacation?” Really, that’s some deep shit right there… a juxtaposition… cause you are on vacation and you are supposed to be having fun and being relaxed, so the last thing you should be is mad, amirite?]

Uh oh, what happened? Now he sad.
Eyes on the road, Kanye, we wouldn’t want you to crash into a tree!

BAM, that bitch shows up again. Now are they driving backwards?
I mean, because her hair totally isn’t in her eyes anymore.

More [c]rappin, now with constellations of Kanye in the background.

HA HA, looks like they doin’ it…

Wait, what the… are they doin’ it?

Yup, they fuckin.

Bitch bumped her head on those
handlebars one too many times…
thought she was Beyonce with that lighting…

  By the way, whats up with her hair? 
It defies all laws of physics and aerodynamics!
I take back what I said about your hair...
it ain't ratchet... its MAAAGIC... !

… and Yeezus wept.

So there you have it... if you want to watch this golden gem of artistry that has been blessed upon us, the common plebeians, then here you go. Make sure to give it the appropriate rating on Kim's YouTube page.

 

PURE. GENIUS! For some reason I feel like watching "Showgirls"...